tldr: work hard, but stay balanced in an obsessive way. work extremely hard when you work, but play and actively enjoy moments of the day. overly obsessive hustle culture is unhealthy. and, surprise surprise, having unhealthy inputs will lead to unhealthy outputs.

I just came across an Instagram post by Zach Pogrob during my lunch break that had me nodding at first. The post looks like a reformatted-just-for-Instagram tweet that has a sentence on each line. “Run. Lift. Fast.” Yeah, lifting and running are fun! And then I keep reading and it says “Get up early. Stay up late.” ???? Alright? And then I keep going. “Sleep on floors. Wake up on Forbes.” (bro is freestyling at this point). “Follow a path without steps… Be present in everything. Be relentless in everything.” I’m nodding a little again with a confused look on my face.

And then I read, “The Obsessed Life ignores the word ‘balance.’ haha

I don’t know how to describe my thoughts clearly because I used to indulge (at least a little bit) in this sort of thinking. I told myself I wanted to achieve high goals, push myself to the maximum, and dive into a world of achieving those goals. And I still do think those things! Except I used to do it in a little bit of that icky Silicon Valley Tech Bro Way, a way that consists of living for, indulging in, and sacrificing all for your career. I told myself I wanted to live that “Obsessed Life.” The thing is, I haven’t actually lived it (I ended up spending more time with my friends, trying to maximize my senior year and summer, watching One Piece, and even playing League). Note that I have a lot of respect for the people who are living the “Obsessed Life” while sacrificing balance. I’m just glad that I haven’t lived it for myself. And now, I’m reevaluating how I look at the way I want to live life in the first place.

The past couple of years, I’ve begun to value the little things in life more. I’ve begun to value the balance that so many people I’ve met and seen in the tech space set aside (and sometimes look down on even if they say they aren’t). I still have dreams and aspirations relating to careers and hobbies, but I as I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned the importance of balance.

I think it first struck me when I read this article

I’d like to think I’ve been doing a good job of maintaining “balance” in my life, at least the past few years. I tried to work hard and play hard. Oftentimes I played more and worked for shorter bursts, but I got what I needed to get done done.

i had opp of prod, etc. i want to push myself obvi, but i want to do so without disregarding my family and friends, becoming a better, more empathetic, kind, loving, patient person. and not to say those two things are mutually exclusive–pushing yourself towards goals and obsessing over look man, respect to the people who do live the obsessed life. i think it’s cool, and it’s what i used to want to have. i used to tell myself i wanted to be what elizabeth holmes would have been if she’d been ethical, not sociopathic, etcetc. and i’m still telling myself those high goals. maybe it’s burnout, or maybe it’s becoming more realistic, or maybe it’s losing some of that audacity of optimism i had more of in high school, but telling myself those high goals is taking more energy than it did before. and